Second week of the New Year! How we feeling? Still have that same energy from New Years Eve or are we pretty much over it already? I’m actually in a good space since we last talked. I’ve learned, let me re-word that I’m learning that you don’t have to cut people off, they will eventually get the scissors and do it themselves. Ya’ll let’s not stress ourselves out with
“cutting people off” and let them do it. We are not stressing over minor things in 2019!
Plants don’t grow if you don’t water them, and people don’t last if you don’t entertain them.
I can guarantee you that we’ve all been in a situation or circumstances that have had us feeling like “dang, what am I gonna do next?” or “why did it even have to happen like this”. The feeling is all too familiar because if you’ve read my last blog, then you know that I too recently dealt with those same emotions and questions.
You want to know what’s so beautiful about that?
LIFE. GOES. ON.
SO LIVE IT!
I’m a people person, and I love hard — not just in relationships but in friendships as well. If you’ve been rocking with me since Day 1 you know how I am with my ‘ships’, I hold them all near and dear to my heart and if needed I’ll dress up in all back and go to war for them. At the end of 2018 coming into 2019, I was hit with what I consider a low-blow in the friendship realm and to be 100% real with ya’ll I’m not dealing with it very well. I’ve never sugar-coated anything with you guys, and I’m not gonna start now — I AM/WAS HURT. I think this particular ‘sinking ship’ affected me so bad because this time (this one particular time) I did absolutely nothing wrong. As a matter a fact, I did EVERYTHING a “best” friend (and I use that term loosely now) was supposed to do… and then some.
It wasn’t until my two year old ended up in the mix where I was like — it’s not even that deep. *Disclaimer* TeeJ wasn’t harmed or anything, but he loves who I love. He’s very smart, picks up on EVERYTHING asks TONS of questions. So when he asked me “why they no see me mommy” not only was I over it, but I felt my heartbreak. I went from hurt to livid — no I was pissed. My kid played 0 parts in this whole thing, so why/how did he get involved? I looked him in his little innocent eyes and said “it’s okay, mommy sees you” and kept it moving. He smiled, hugged me, grabbed his T-Rex and moved on from the situation so effortlessly. If he could move on like that, then I knew I could do the same thing too.
If life could go on in a matter of seconds for Teej and T-Rex, I knew life could go on for me too without this friendship.
There were 3 things I had to do for myself to make sure I got the ball rolling, or in Teej’s case grab my T-Rex and keep playing.
Acknowledge It – sit down become extremely transparent and open with yourself about the situation. Put it ALL out on the table. This sucks. My feelings are hurt. Whatever you need to say, say it. Acknowledging the problem first hand relieves some stress, and emotion. (if you’re feeling up to it, you can acknowledge the situation with the person it involves BUT be careful because 1.they may not be receptive and 2. they might not care). At this point YOU and YOUR feelings are the #1 Priority.
Thunderstorms bring rainbows – right now not having your go-to person feels like being outside in the rain without an umbrella. Your dynamic about certain situations is changing and the songs you used to quote together don’t even sound the same anymore. But guess what, when that storm is over there will be a rainbow and that rainbow is not only going to bring you a pot of gold but also a person, no a friend who will be more than just a text away and will quote every song there is with you. WORD. FOR. WORD.
Just Chill – if you’re like me you have to fix everything as soon as it breaks, well sometimes that’s not always a good idea. Some things and people need time to process or even realize that there’s a problem to begin with. In a previous blog I wrote, i made the statement that “not everyone thinks like you” and that’s true. We only see the world through our own eyes, so there’s no telling what those around us sees. Don’t be in a rush to make things right, use this time to even see if it’s worth being made right. Absence makes the heart grow founder. If it circles back, ya’ll were destined. If not, grab a T-Rex.